The Church Photographer.

He couldn’t think of a greater farewell.

A more satisfying Fuck You.

A greater gift-giving than a life.

He set his camera up on the tripod in front of the doors of his local church. He had the lens facing a brutally busy main road.

Swathes of traffic hummed speedily through like bullets at a firing range.

As he set up the self-timer on the camera, he thought about everything that had been captured through it – processed – cemented.

Marriages. Christenings. Dances. Fetes.

He thought, most importantly, of Mary unbuttoning her suspender belt – rolling her stockings down into murky, sheer puddles – of her ribs lifting her tits like Atlas lifting the World. He wondered now how many other cameras had dazzled and flashed at her.

This had to be timed perfectly, he realised – he counted down –

14 – and – 13 – and – 12 – and –

Walked toward the road –

11 – and – 10 – and –

Watched the cars, took measure of the flow of traffic; the rhythm of his fate –

9 – and – 8 – and – 7 – and –

Started shaking. Steadied his legs. He prepped his stance like an athlete preparing for a sprint – thinking only of winning.

6 – and – 5 – and – 4 – and –

Blank. Weightless. Terror.

3 – and – 2 – and –

God forgive me –

Bolt blindly before a taxi

The camera pops with light. Self-timed. Shutter speeds and shudderings:

1! Ribs breaking. Legs curled under.

2! Head bursting against the shattering windscreen.

3! Bouncing off the roof.

4! Floating incandescently between the sky and the floor.

5! Icarus!

6! Break dancer on the pavement.

7! Lovers twitch. Coitus. Love you Love you Love you Love ….

The film snapped to a halt. Rewound. In the as yet blank film he was resurrected. Zombie Christ. Easter.

His wife worked in the only photo developers in town. She’d been having an affair w/ the wedding photographer.

Standing outside the photographers house one day, he watched the stop-motion intimacy of his wifes’ sins embroiled with another mans – lit up by the self-timed flashes of the camera they’d used to preserve the moment with.

He stole the camera the next day.

Decided to finish off the film for them.